Are You an Athlete? In this case, you May Want a Sex Toy
Here’s why you might want to look for a Fleshlight masturbator if you are an athlete.
So, I stumbled upon a pretty interesting factoid the other day that I think you’ll find quite funny. There was a study to find out if athletes, on the field, performed better or worse after having sex.
Now, I was always under the impression to hold back my hormones, release all of that energy on the field, and then “get physical” in bed. In fact, I followed this when I was actively playing sports. I believed in this theory so much so that when I did have sex before a game, my performance would deteriorate significantly. However, I have now come to learn that this may have been in my head!
The study showed that the overwhelming majority of the athletes performed SO much better after they had sex. On a side note, did you know that close to 50,000 condoms are being sent to the Olympics this year for a little over 10,000 male athletes? That’s a lot of pre-game monkey business if you ask me!
But, what if you are a regular athlete who won’t be participating in the Olympics (like 99.9999% of other athletes in the world)? The chances are that a significant amount of athletes find it difficult to find a partner to have sex with, which is precisely why online dating sites have become so popular.
So, what can these athletes do?
Sure, they can always take the traditional “masturbation” route. But, I’m going to venture and say that you guys want something new. Additionally, masturbation comes with a problem. Here’s a great idea: go out and buy a sex toy.
So, what’s the issue with masturbation? Just if you’re a man, when you jerk off, you don’t hear anything with a male sex toy. It’s extremely quiet. Also, why use your hand? For starters, you will tire it out, and I’m willing to bet you will need that hand strength during game time. Additionally, a sex toy feels like an actual vagina. I’m willing to bet you would not only prefer that to your hand, but you will climax much easier thus saving you from additional depleted energy.
It’s no question then – buying a sex toy and using it is your choice if you are not an Olympic athlete. The overall benefits that you will receive from using a sex toy over your hand (or no “action” at all) are quite clear. Especially if you are looking to work on your endurance and maximize on-field performance, this is your choice. A sex toy will do wonders for you.
No Real Sex Toy Options for Men
We’re going to go out on a limb here and say that you don’t read too many articles about sex. That’s okay – we get it. For obvious reasons, we don’t write too many articles about sex either. But, we are compelled to write this one today. Here’s our story.
Here at our company, we men have been noticing a lot of chatter from the women around the office. They have all increasingly started talking openly about their sex lives. As men, we do not object to this. Even the married ones – it allows them to live vicariously through these women.
One of the topics, though, that kept on coming up within these women discussions was that of vibrators. No big deal – we are used to this kind of talk outside of the office from time to time. But, the difference here is that 1) we are in a working environment and 2) these office women were talking about their vibrators 100 times more than we have ever heard our friends outside of work talk about them. Naturally, after some time, you start to become jealous of their experiences. So, a few of us looked into buying male sex toys. Sure, it can be considered taboo but screw it…no one has to know. And, it’s not like any of us men care if another knows we are using one. So, we started doing our research.
As it turns out, there are thousands of male sex toys on the market! Good, right? No, it’s not good at all, and here’s why. Most of these male sex toys are really weird. They aren’t flashy or stylish like vibrators or other women’s sex toys. Except for maybe the FleshLight pocket vagina and one different Japanese pocket vagina that looks like the Flesh-Light, all of the sex toys for men are downright creepy. They all look disgusting and weird. Who the hell wants to play with these things? We’re even more curious as to which men buy these things?!
This situation has left us frustrated beyond words. Why can women have beautiful and sleek sex toys but men can’t? Why can they enjoy themselves but we can’t? It’s not fair. Also, this should become obvious to any of our readers who are entrepreneurs. Here’s your shot to make it in the big leagues. Go manufacture the ultimate male sex toy. There is a massive market for it as the rest of the competition literally sucks – yes, pun intended! We will be your first customers.
Virtual Reality Coming to the Sex Market
Seriously, I feel like it’s the 1990s and I’m watching Demolition Man (the movie) all over again. Who remembers the scene where Sylvester Stallone is greeted at the door by Sandra Bullock wearing a nice sexy outfit? Don’t lie – of course, you all remember this scene. What happened next was hilarious.
Stallone thought he was going to handle that ass like a Middle Eastern shepherd. As he approaches Bullock, she quickly pushes him away and asks him what the hell he is doing. Apparently, he replies with a “what do you mean” type of answer. Then, Bullock pulls out a VR device of sorts and shows him that this is the “new” way that people have sex in the future. The look on his face was priceless – one of depression and “are you kidding me.”
Well, it seems like we are entering these unchartered waters as well.
The company CamSoda is coming out with a new virtual reality platform for sex. So, should we all be worried like Stallone in Demolition Man or should we embrace this new technology? Let’s take a look!
Okay, so the concept here actually seems damn cool to be honest. It’s supposed to be a system whereby the user or users wear the VR “goggles” on their face and also have interacting “teledildonics” (no – I did not make up that word). What does this mean though? Basically, these “teledildonics” (a.k.a. sex toys – dildos or pocket pussies) automatically connect and coordinate with the movements and actions within the “movie” you will be watching on your VR “goggles.” Did we mention this will be in real time – meaning real-time movements? Yeah, it’s out of this world!
If something like this were to actually exist and work, it would bring the sex industry to another level never thought possible. Although there could be some concerns for the future of the human race (what the hell is the reason I will need actual real-life sex now????), outside of that, this new technology is on the same innovative track that the iPhone was on when it first came to market. This technology will provide a unique and remarkable experience that will continuously stimulate all users – both male and female alike. I guess that this market will be worth over $10 billion annually after the first year, and over $100 billion annually after the first 3-5 years. So for any of you stock market junkies, if there’s a VR company selling this that is public, you may want to check them out.
I’m super stoked to try this baby out!